A friends thoughts Part 3. Brad vs Skylanders

Epic Skylander whinge session = go

I think the hardest thing to write in here, would be a word apt enough to describe this fucking atrocity without alienating and offending ninety percent of the Internet.

Activision are a company that pride themselves on feeding off the moronic gaming consumer bleeding the common man off his hard earned dollar for tiny shit dribbles of content.

To quote somebody from my …. small circle of associates and companions -

“DLC? In my day they were called patches, and they were free”

Anyway while I have limitless hate for these fuckheads let’s get this topic back on the rails.

Now for the non gaming types who loathe themselves enough to read my textual vomit - Skylanders is a video game aimed at children 12 years and below, A typical adventure game with cutesy character based off Spyro style platforming elements.

This may seem harmless, aside from one small factor that leads to the sheer criminal ideal of the game itself. The game comes packaged with a small “platform” and three character figurines, to play as a certain character in the game - you are required to place this small plastic piece of fuck onto the glowing platform so you can use them.

Now the kicker here is, certain parts of the game are only accessible using certain characters and you only get three in the box.

You have to buy the rest separately.

This is where my limitless agony comes into play, not only do these psychopathic parents fork out ungodly amounts of money on buying these excess characters, Acitivision purposefully undersupply them in order make mothers froth at the mouth. Over the past two months I have had minimum eight people per day asking for these figurines, the majority of them with an aggression and sense of entitlement that makes me want to reach through the telephone and end them with a swift grip to the throat.

So here I am at a store level, I have no control over stock of these tiny soul destroying fucks. ($14AUD per character by the way) But of course them not being in stock is all my fault, So I take all the abuse while Activision plot the next money thieving software to make them rich beyond mortal comprehension.

I think I made a mistake listening to Ghost by Devin Townsend Project while trying to write this blog entry, because it really is quite impossible to stoke the fires of loathing when his music is relaxing the shit out of you - anyway most of you get the point, obviously this wasn’t directed at being a humour filled posting, more my own personal venting. So if you didn’t enjoy it - I’m pleased I ruined somebodies day besides my own.

- Brad